Censorship

Unfortunately, this wasn’t going to be my first post of the year. My first post of the year was going to be a true tale that would have rivaled my dog story. It would have been complete with illustrations in a crude manner that only my Microsoft Paint program can produce. It was going to have you laughing, crying and shouting “OH.MY.GOD”. Yes, it was all of that and then some. It was the first time since I’ve been writing that a story was writing itself in my head at the same moment it was unfolding in front my blurry eyes. It was the first time in a good 7 months that my writers block was not just released, but totally destroyed.

Alas, upon arrival of my homestead, my dear wife and chief editor squashed the story before it could even be put on paper. She notified me that due to the nature of the story (which would have been told in such as way as to minimize the crassness of it), and the location of the incident, I was prohibited from posting it on such a public forum. Not being one to ever comply with any type of censorship, I’ve decided to author the story anyways, but compromise on the publication vehicle. Instead of plastering it on the walls of The Unsound, it will be available upon a personal request basis. Due to this minor setback, the story hasn’t been completed, but I assure you; it will. Not wanting to let even one detail escape my very vivid recollection of the subject event, I will be writing it soon after I post this. I will be taking my time with the illustrations, however. This is undoubtedly a story that can paint a picture on its own. But I feel it can further be immortalized forever in pastel colors in a way that not even my words can. This is not an empty promise, and I assure you, it will be well worth the hype.

Now that I’ve let you down gently, let me bring you back up. Also in the very near future (in the next 3 days) is my first piece of writing to actually be “published”. It will be a business write-up that will be circulating the greater Chico area restaurants featuring the best portable toilet service in the business; Johnny on the Spot Portable Toilets. I am very proud that Rachel and Melanie asked me to write it, and someone will have to steal me one from one of those restaurants. Until then, I can offer you nothing more than my most sincere apology.